Do not compare yourself

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Do you know when a person suffers from envy?

When you feel anger at the moment that others are doing well, they look good, and they are fine.

Envy is a symptom of personal dissatisfaction and self-sabotage rage.

Rage for wanting something that you do not have, and that you probably cannot have.

However, the root of envy causes the need to be comparing. The person who is constantly comparing himself with other people suffers from lack of identity.

The personal cadence wants to fill it with different pieces of different people who envy.

You repeat: “I would like to be like her”, “Have that body”, “Have that talent”, “I would like to have the husband she has”, “The children she has”, “To have the house she has”, “To have the friends that she has.”

Yes, but you are not her!

Nobody can be like you; and you cannot be like anyone.

You are you!

Each person has different qualities and aptitudes for which they were created.

Each person has unique and irreplaceable footprints.

If this information is understood,

Why will you still envy?

Why do you want the achievements and dreams of others?

Why do you walk, talk, and even pose, with the same profile and smile like that person you cannot stand or see?

Could it be that what bothers you, reflects your own?

Perhaps it is that if you behave and dress like the other people just then you will feel loved and accepted, and will you be seen?

The most common saying: “If she could, then I can too”,”If she did it, I can do it better.”

What more erroneous thoughts; A person cannot inspire you to be yourself based on comparisons.

A person who really inspires you can only create in you to look for your own, not for others.

However, envy does not insist on inspiration, but provokes comparison.

The limits that life presents are not the cause of personal defeat.

Life always grants an opportunity to undertake and improve.

More of an attitude of comparison will never allow to see what is in, because the person is very busy seeing what other people do and do not do.

The person who is compared finds himself in permanent dissatisfaction because he will always find someone better than him or her.

Stop comparing yourself and stop comparing others.

Live your own dreams because you cannot live or enjoy other people’s dreams. Why? Because they are NOT yours.

Be yourself and do not settle for being someone’s copy.

If you suffer from this disease seek professional help.

if it is impossible for you to be happy with the achievements of others, mainly those who are close to you. Then it is a personal matter that has to be treated, which gives a more reason to find  help.

Dissatisfaction is a silent mutilator.

“Envy is the tribute that mediocrity gives to talent” Jackson Brown.

Toxic mentalities

Toxic mentalities are cognitive distortions, and these are simply ways in which our mind convinces us of something that is not true. These types of thoughts and consequently inaccurate mentalities are used to reinforce negative thoughts and emotions by telling us lies that sound true, rational, and precise; but, they only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

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Toxic mentalities are cognitive distortions, and these are simply ways in which our mind convinces us of something that is not true. These types of thoughts and consequently inaccurate mentalities are used to reinforce negative thoughts and emotions by telling us lies that sound true, rational, and precise; but, they only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

Irrational behaviors that end up being toxic mentalities are aimed at keeping people away from you and continue to make your emotions sick.

  1. Negative mentality: a mentality that focuses on the bad and negative situations and people. Usually, they have a negative perspective of everything and everyone. This mentality often speaks with criticism; In his mouth there is murmuring and complaint. It is difficult to see the friendly side of people and circumstances. Everything he sees is dark and black, he tends to be pessimistic, renegade, and grumpy.

 

  1. Victim mentality: this mentality is usually the victim of circumstances. He thinks he is the best and the kindest of all. This mentality always believes that his acts are with a “good intention” of course, in his own understanding. However, people always pay him badly. This person always tends to have relationships where she / he was the one who gave and provided the most in the relationship. It is characterized by his manipulation to turn and distort information around, in such a way that it remains as the victim and the fragile person in the circumstances. He is incapable of doing something bad before others and society. In the end, most are ungrateful and paying him badly.

 

  1. Over sensitivity Mentality: this mentality of over sensitivity stops the maturity of the person since this mentality of everything is offended and takes things very close. In this mentality everything bothers him, and everything falls badly because he takes it very personal. It is said: “You cannot say anything to them.” In other words, he sees danger where there is none, invents something where it does not exist, and suspects everything from everyone. The uncertainty of the possibility that something happens, leads him to distrust everything and everyone. The over sensitive mentality has a hard time trusting people because he is scared to be hurt.

 

  1. Cruelty mentality: A person who has little sense of compassion for the pain of others. These people only think about themselves, their pain and their needs. They cannot perceive the pain of others. Nothing is more painful than his situation. This mentality can also be another extreme. For example, they refer to these people as: “He has no heart”, “He has a heart of a stone,” “He does not care about anything and anybody but himself.” They are cruel with their words and their actions. However, their insensitivity prevents them from seeing the vulnerability of others.

 

  1. Mentality of exaggeration: this mentality over reacts everything and everyone. He usually reacts with anger and frustration. Exaggerates when speaking, maximizes situations, and circumstances. He speaks with exaggeration. He has an illusion to enhance his comments. It often enhances achievements, but also problems. Usually, when it comes to a person, it makes it seem as if many people were involved. Example, one of 20 liked the green color, this mentality tends to generalize, and is expressed as everyone liked green. This mentality likes to please their needs and interests through volume and quantities. “Everyone says that …”, “No one will …” “It always happens that …”.

 

  1. Acceptance and credit mentality: this mentality is to look for the constant validation of acceptance and credit that comes from other people. This mentality is competitive and is altered by the circumstances. Always try to be the best in everything he does with the goal of being seen and applauded. If there is someone who can improve and be mostly accredited, anger and envy lead him to remove those people from his path with manipulative and arrogant behaviors. Usually, it is surrounded by people who are accrediting their decisions and points of view. If there is someone who does not like him; Then, this mentality tends to get rid of people in a very irrelevant manner with punishments and meaningless decisions.

 

  1. Mentality of argumentation: this mentality likes to argue for everything and for nothing. They are never wrong because they are always right. For these people the approval of their point of view is more important than their time and money; These people can discuss the same subject, issue and problem for days, months, and years. For them, winning their argument means triumph. Their foolishness and lack of flexibility forbids them to have balanced and healthy relationships.

 

  1. Conflicting mentality: usually this mentality has an amplifying glass where personal matters are magnified. The conflict is the shadow that accompanies them. It seems that, if they do not have a conflict in the day, they are not satisfied. They have to argue to be comfortable. This mentality has much in common with the mentality of argumentation, since one leads to the other. The difference is that the conflict surpasses the argument and drag down whoever is with him at that time. The discussion and discord cause him pleasure. It is like the person takes the pill that has the effect which causes the adrenaline to alter him. The conflicting mind, like to be part of other situations and conflicts of others. These minds usually defend the other people “for good cause” and seeking “justice”.

 

  1. Possessive mentality: this mentality is a sick mentality since relationships are created with a bond of possession and property. This mentality believes that nobody is better than him. This mentality believes that no one can be in better conditions if it is not at their side, or under their mandate, or under their protection. It creates the thought that people belong to them from the point of knowing them. They are those mentalities that only the good and the best are with them, because they have a hard time understanding that there is a better world than the one around them.

 

  1. Cynical mentality: this mentality thinks that nothing is serious enough; everything is taken lightly and nothing that they do has consequences. The cynical mentality creates its own lies and speaks them as if they were true. In a difficult situation, always look for guilt people before recognizing their own. Consequently, they look for excuses to justify their actions and their bad decisions.

 

  1. Foolish mentality: this mentality is always right, everything is known, and nothing can be said. He always has something to say and add. If he does not know, he invents it, because for this mentality, having the right is winning. Nobody knows more than this mentality. The opposite of being wise is being a fool. The Bible describes the foolish woman as the one who demolishes her house. Foolishness has to do with wrong pride. It is a mind closed to progress and advancement.

If you feel related with some of the toxic mentalities, do not worry, the first step to break the kind of toxic mentality, is recognizing that it exists. Once identified, it will be easier to make the changes and the necessary adjustments to be able to break those toxic behaviors that only wants to destroy yourself and destroy your relationships.

When you have relationships that only have toxic mentalities or if you have any of these toxic mentalities, it is important that there is awareness that they are only aimed at: subtracting, draining, eroding, taking away energy and absorbing all the good things about oneself and others.

It works like a poisonous fungus. The poisonous mushroom is nourished by the life of the tree, nourished by the natural substance that runs through it. The poisonous mushroom cannot subsist in solitude because it dies; Then it filters through the earth until it reaches the nearest tree and plant. Once reaching the root, it is distilled to such a degree that it absorbs all the nutrients and natural substances that belong to the tree and drains it until it dries and kills it.

The toxic mentality works like the fungus, it feeds itself from other people. The toxic mentality is not happy nor allows others to be happy. The toxic mentality does not allow personal growth to continue because they are a mental, physical and therefore spiritual stagnation in them and in other people.

A person who has not healed their wounds tends to have toxic and irrational mentalities.

A toxic mentality subtracts and intoxicates your life.

Find Help!

Myriam R.

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References:

The Psychology of Executive Coaching: Theory and Application (2nd Edition).

Chow, J. C. (2018). Comorbid language and behavior problems: Development, frameworks, and intervention. School Psychology Quarterly, doi:10.1037/spq0000270

My Trust is in the Lord

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The trials of life are just an opportunity to uncover what is still inside the heart. The tests either weaken or strengthen you. Every time you pass a test you pull down roots that strengthen you every day, then just like that, not every wind can shake you or knock you down.

The tests locate people and show them the condition of where they are emotionally and spiritually. If the person builds her/his life on the opinions of people with the concepts of the people around them, then they will be a person who is constantly in decline, because she/he will be dragged by what other people say about her/him.

In a test, the worst of the person or the best of it can arise. Usually, the test has the parameter and the measure to bring out the worst that exists deep within it. When it is acted in the worst way, it is because it has arisen in moments of despair, impotence, frustration, and anger. Either the dependency is placed on the situation, on the need, on the people, or on God.

A person who lives in the will of God then can not satisfy the desires of men.

Every test produces 10 things in a person’s life when he walks in God’s will:

  1. Maturity
  2. Renewal
  3. Restoration
  4. Wisdom
  5. Character
  6. Force
  7. Understanding
  8. Detachment
  9. Faith
  10. Hope

The foundation must be God.

It brings freedom, putting trust in the grace of God and not in situations, nor in the opinions of people or in one’s own strengths.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and puts his trust in him” Jeremiah 17: 7

Pride and foolishness will only block seeing God’s direction. More, a humble spirit leads to healing and maturity.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.Proverbs 3: 5-6

The adversity you face will be your quick response to your stability. Trust in God and pass the test by letting yourself be shaped by what God wants to do in your life!

He is forging your character.

The evidence is the land where faith grows.