Toxic mentalities are cognitive distortions, and these are simply ways in which our mind convinces us of something that is not true. These types of thoughts and consequently inaccurate mentalities are used to reinforce negative thoughts and emotions by telling us lies that sound true, rational, and precise; but, they only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.
Irrational behaviors that end up being toxic mentalities are aimed at keeping people away from you and continue to make your emotions sick.
- Negative mentality: a mentality that focuses on the bad and negative situations and people. Usually, they have a negative perspective of everything and everyone. This mentality often speaks with criticism; In his mouth there is murmuring and complaint. It is difficult to see the friendly side of people and circumstances. Everything he sees is dark and black, he tends to be pessimistic, renegade, and grumpy.
- Victim mentality: this mentality is usually the victim of circumstances. He thinks he is the best and the kindest of all. This mentality always believes that his acts are with a “good intention” of course, in his own understanding. However, people always pay him badly. This person always tends to have relationships where she / he was the one who gave and provided the most in the relationship. It is characterized by his manipulation to turn and distort information around, in such a way that it remains as the victim and the fragile person in the circumstances. He is incapable of doing something bad before others and society. In the end, most are ungrateful and paying him badly.
- Over sensitivity Mentality: this mentality of over sensitivity stops the maturity of the person since this mentality of everything is offended and takes things very close. In this mentality everything bothers him, and everything falls badly because he takes it very personal. It is said: “You cannot say anything to them.” In other words, he sees danger where there is none, invents something where it does not exist, and suspects everything from everyone. The uncertainty of the possibility that something happens, leads him to distrust everything and everyone. The over sensitive mentality has a hard time trusting people because he is scared to be hurt.
- Cruelty mentality: A person who has little sense of compassion for the pain of others. These people only think about themselves, their pain and their needs. They cannot perceive the pain of others. Nothing is more painful than his situation. This mentality can also be another extreme. For example, they refer to these people as: “He has no heart”, “He has a heart of a stone,” “He does not care about anything and anybody but himself.” They are cruel with their words and their actions. However, their insensitivity prevents them from seeing the vulnerability of others.
- Mentality of exaggeration: this mentality over reacts everything and everyone. He usually reacts with anger and frustration. Exaggerates when speaking, maximizes situations, and circumstances. He speaks with exaggeration. He has an illusion to enhance his comments. It often enhances achievements, but also problems. Usually, when it comes to a person, it makes it seem as if many people were involved. Example, one of 20 liked the green color, this mentality tends to generalize, and is expressed as everyone liked green. This mentality likes to please their needs and interests through volume and quantities. “Everyone says that …”, “No one will …” “It always happens that …”.
- Acceptance and credit mentality: this mentality is to look for the constant validation of acceptance and credit that comes from other people. This mentality is competitive and is altered by the circumstances. Always try to be the best in everything he does with the goal of being seen and applauded. If there is someone who can improve and be mostly accredited, anger and envy lead him to remove those people from his path with manipulative and arrogant behaviors. Usually, it is surrounded by people who are accrediting their decisions and points of view. If there is someone who does not like him; Then, this mentality tends to get rid of people in a very irrelevant manner with punishments and meaningless decisions.
- Mentality of argumentation: this mentality likes to argue for everything and for nothing. They are never wrong because they are always right. For these people the approval of their point of view is more important than their time and money; These people can discuss the same subject, issue and problem for days, months, and years. For them, winning their argument means triumph. Their foolishness and lack of flexibility forbids them to have balanced and healthy relationships.
- Conflicting mentality: usually this mentality has an amplifying glass where personal matters are magnified. The conflict is the shadow that accompanies them. It seems that, if they do not have a conflict in the day, they are not satisfied. They have to argue to be comfortable. This mentality has much in common with the mentality of argumentation, since one leads to the other. The difference is that the conflict surpasses the argument and drag down whoever is with him at that time. The discussion and discord cause him pleasure. It is like the person takes the pill that has the effect which causes the adrenaline to alter him. The conflicting mind, like to be part of other situations and conflicts of others. These minds usually defend the other people “for good cause” and seeking “justice”.
- Possessive mentality: this mentality is a sick mentality since relationships are created with a bond of possession and property. This mentality believes that nobody is better than him. This mentality believes that no one can be in better conditions if it is not at their side, or under their mandate, or under their protection. It creates the thought that people belong to them from the point of knowing them. They are those mentalities that only the good and the best are with them, because they have a hard time understanding that there is a better world than the one around them.
- Cynical mentality: this mentality thinks that nothing is serious enough; everything is taken lightly and nothing that they do has consequences. The cynical mentality creates its own lies and speaks them as if they were true. In a difficult situation, always look for guilt people before recognizing their own. Consequently, they look for excuses to justify their actions and their bad decisions.
- Foolish mentality: this mentality is always right, everything is known, and nothing can be said. He always has something to say and add. If he does not know, he invents it, because for this mentality, having the right is winning. Nobody knows more than this mentality. The opposite of being wise is being a fool. The Bible describes the foolish woman as the one who demolishes her house. Foolishness has to do with wrong pride. It is a mind closed to progress and advancement.
If you feel related with some of the toxic mentalities, do not worry, the first step to break the kind of toxic mentality, is recognizing that it exists. Once identified, it will be easier to make the changes and the necessary adjustments to be able to break those toxic behaviors that only wants to destroy yourself and destroy your relationships.
When you have relationships that only have toxic mentalities or if you have any of these toxic mentalities, it is important that there is awareness that they are only aimed at: subtracting, draining, eroding, taking away energy and absorbing all the good things about oneself and others.
It works like a poisonous fungus. The poisonous mushroom is nourished by the life of the tree, nourished by the natural substance that runs through it. The poisonous mushroom cannot subsist in solitude because it dies; Then it filters through the earth until it reaches the nearest tree and plant. Once reaching the root, it is distilled to such a degree that it absorbs all the nutrients and natural substances that belong to the tree and drains it until it dries and kills it.
The toxic mentality works like the fungus, it feeds itself from other people. The toxic mentality is not happy nor allows others to be happy. The toxic mentality does not allow personal growth to continue because they are a mental, physical and therefore spiritual stagnation in them and in other people.
A person who has not healed their wounds tends to have toxic and irrational mentalities.
A toxic mentality subtracts and intoxicates your life.
The Psychology of Executive Coaching: Theory and Application (2nd Edition).
Chow, J. C. (2018). Comorbid language and behavior problems: Development, frameworks, and intervention. School Psychology Quarterly, doi:10.1037/spq0000270